2007, and all that....!

2007! One of the best, AND, one of the worst years of the 38 or so of which I have a memory.
I have enjoyed the company of some wonderful people, heard the most amazing music I could imagine, and shared some truly enlightening experiences with those I love the most.
Finally seeking help with regard to my mental health this year, has made it possible for me to explain my unacceptable behaviour in the years before, without giving me any reason to excuse it. Large chunks of the jigsaw puzzle fell into place. I learned that there were physiological causes of some of my anger, my frustration, and above all, my sadness. An epiphany of sorts, I suppose.
I could spend most of 2008 apologising to lots of folks for my prevuious treatment of them. I am confident, however, that they might have already picked up on the fact that I may not have been entirely healthy at the time of my lack of reason and understanding.
Despite of improvements in my psychological condition, I'll still be ranting about the world's ills, in my usual anti-capitalist fashion. My overall philosophy is NOT a symptom of clinical depression, and most of you will be relieved that my personality still resides under the cosy blanket of medication!
So, all things considered, I'll be very glad to see the back of 2007. The highlights shone brilliantly and were invigorating, but were just brief moments on the planet's surface, which punctuated 12 months viewed from the darkness of a deep pit of despair.
With all my education, therapy, and treatment, I am working my way back to the sunlight. I hope to continue on this path.
As for the coming new year, I'll be taking further steps to recovery. You might even see it in my blog. I've reignited some long-forgotten projects, and renewed some old associations, and the tone of these little notes is sure to change. I may have touched on that point before, but it now seems certain.

So, I'm closing the book on 2007.

I wish you all a happy new year for 2008.

I'll return, refreshed, in January..........



PLUR.

Ahoy!

Saturday 17th November saw some very lucky folks heading to a windswept "Walk the Plank" vessel, moored near Albert Dock in Liverpool, for the Karmic Rhythms Psy-Party. This event was a fund-raiser for the READ Int charity, and saw a great team of volunteers come together to launch what I hope will be a series of such gatherings to take place over the next few years!

It was wonderful to be involved in this event! Mr. Hedges and I were there to provide sounds for the chillout room. We had a ball spinnin' some tunes to a sparsely populated, and very cold room, and along with the now legendary Astrodruid, we bravely kept the noise going for the shivering souls who ventured to the top deck of the boat to take a break from the awesome dancefloor scene that was rockin' away downstairs!

I was overwhelmed by the quality of the music in both rooms! Absolutely top stuff from all the DJs and live artists, and I need to thank all those involved in the party, from the bottom of my heart! Well done to my good friend Lee for his organization, and vision!

I'll try to give you all a heads-up for the next Karmic Rhythms event. Great entertainment, for a cwl cause!

Samhain and Beyond!

OK! Firstly.......... Apologies for the disgraceful gap since my last post here. I've been stupidly busy. Too many fingers in too many pies, as usual!
Our Samhain party, FrightNight went really well, on 27th October. 600 aliens tuning in to a vibe that only FN can provide!
Working with my good friends on this project is one of my greatest sessions of therapy, and always leaves me with a restored faith in Human Nature. The core team of Stevie, Vashti, Dwarfy and I have been putting on this event for six years now, and we seem to operate on an almost telepathic basis now. Not much need for continuous communication in the physical sense, just four like-minds in perfect sync. An over-riding common goal that is automatically switched on as we approach Halloween each year. My connection with these people will last forever!
On the night, I was, in some ways, confined to the Psychedelic Room, and I only caught short moments of the madness of the Main Hall. However, my appetite for life-affirming music was fully satisfied. Dwarfy LunarBaby, Ghostley Hedges, and our good friend Henrik fed my mind with some amazing sounds. Once again, I'm in their debt...!
It was wonderful to be working with my old friend El Campino again. He made a very welcome return as our VJ, after a long break from the scene. He is an invaluable friend, and a true Star!
As to the 40+ other members of the FrightNight crew...... I offer them my sincerest of thanks, and guide them to look to FN7, in 2008!
I will endeavour to post some photos from the event, along with some useful links, as soon as I get into an suitable state of mind.

PLUR.

Sleep...

Ok. Sleep rules! Just got through a nasty period of insomnia. It was keeping my mind focused on those automatic negative thoughts that I'm trying so hard to fight. breaking free to some peaceful slumber has been wonderful! Keeping physically busy has helped a lot. Been out playing and listening to some great music over the last few weeks, and chucking a shed-load of equipment around too. The Painted Chariot Autumn Equinox event has been a definite highlight. We were drastically short-staffed, the live act cancelled at the last minute, and there were a few moments of panic, but when you get a great little team into action with such a cool common goal, anything can be rescued. The night went really well, and we made another good contribution to the Red Cross Darfur Appeal.

I'll be concentrating on our Halloween party for the next month or so. Another great team-effort. More details soon....

PLUR.

Busy...

Now that we've stumbled past the August bank-holiday weekend, and staggered into September, it's a quiet hope for an Indian summer that's occupying minds.
I had the pleasure of helping a good friend celebrate his 31st birthday last night, and it was a wonderful party! Lots of smiling faces on folks in varying degrees of intoxication, vibrant conversation (not JUST about the weather either!), cool sounds, and no stupid ego-games! A great way to welcome this busy month.
Despite the ongoing issues that haunt me, I'm actually enjoying being busy (This is where you briefly yawn!)!
September holds a handful of gigs for both the CidFloss Corporation, and RedStripe, and our annual Halloween party-preparation is also in full swing now!
So, I'm hoping that will result in more positive posts here. I bet you're all relieved to hear that...!



PLUR

"...big ball..."

Well, a big ball of light has appeared in the sky, a few times, since my last visit here. I continue to be astounded by it's therapeutic value! I've been grabbing as much sunshine as possible, and it's been wonderful!
Of course, reading through my previous posts, there is a direct connection between the weather and my mood. I wish the entire story was that simple!
Anyway, I'm restricted to up's and downs which are much less extreme than in the recent past. I'm grateful for that.
When I look back on this summer, probably on a rainy November Tuesday, I WILL be taken back to a world of great music, and great friends. The downs are all fading away.....slowly.


PLUR

Where...?

Where is the summer?
In the year when I REALLY need some sunshine, the rains continue! I'm surprised the whole population isn't depressed (...Hold on! Maybe it is!)
Anyway, I must apologise for the lack of posts on this blog. I've been occupied with interesting work, frustrating people, the funeral of a friend, and the general maintenance of my mood.
All of the above have helped (?) to keep my paranoia levels up. The same humans that have had an affect on these symptoms in the past, still seem to have a hand in my condition now. A lot of this is actually born out of my concern for their welfare, but I am saddened to report that a few folks seem to have really taken a dislike to me. Distance is my current treatment. I really don't know how people can be bothered to put in considerable effort to alienate someone who is actually their ally. I suppose I'm over-sensitive to this stuff right now, but it's all too obvious to ignore.
So... I hope to be back soon, with something a little brighter to report (and not just the weather!).





PLUR

Steps...!

I'm not prepared to define it as optimism, but I now have a feeling that I've taken a series of small steps in the right direction.

Some of you might giggle at the irony of the Sandoz label on my medication. It seems to be finally taking effect. Small elevations in my mood. Glimpses of another life. I have no idea how long I will be taking it, but I've been in contact with others who have had success with this compound. Predominently positive stories. I think I'm gaining a little confidence. I have also had my first visit to the local community mental health team. I know it will be difficult to deal with the forthcoming programme, but it IS another step...!

I am writing this after having a landmark weekend. The Cidfloss Corporation were contributing to the Painted Chariot event, here in North Wales, raising much-needed funds for the Red Cross Darfur Appeal. Just attending the event was a difficult prospect for me, and playing some music was a major challenge. I am delighted that it all went well, and the sounds proved to be extremely therapeutic!

I am in debt to Dwarfy & Hedges for their support, and I'm very thankful to all the other musicians/DJs who played, and all the wonderful folks who worked hard to make the party a success. I eagerly anticipate the next one! That's a very important step, as I'm still taking one day at a time. For the first time in quite a while, I'm enjoying having something to look forward to!

PLUR

Ups 'n' Downs...

As I've mentioned here before, I am gradually coming to grips with my ups 'n' downs.
Recent events have certainly gone a long way to helping me understand my own mind, and some stark truths have surfaced.
After conversations with some of the most important and influential human beings in my life, and a lot of introspection, I've come to admit that I've been struggling with depression for , as far as I can determine, some twenty years!
I've always put it down to the symptoms of being truly awake, in current times, and was too quick to blame external sources for my periodic misery. It seems that I have never considered a clinical condition to be at the heart of this problem, or at the very least, to be a major contributor to it.
I recall one particular clue. A distant memory. An incident that occured in the mid-80's, only to be retrieved in recent days. I won't (can't) bore you with the details of it, but it was a brief outpouring of emotion that shocked my parents at the time. I'm sure they could not recall it now without prompting.
I had shown fear for the future.
I remember it with chilling detail. The setting, the frustration, anger, and despair in my words. The expression on my mother's face.
So, a quarter of a century later, I finally understand the message contained it that, and countless other clues. I am now seeking appropriate help.
I can't see too far ahead as yet, but this process has just started, so I'll cling to a vague hope, as HST would have said, that someone (or someTHING) is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.
At least, now, I'm walking in the right direction.



"Sweet are the thoughts that savour of content. The quiet mind is richer than a crown."

FrightNight @ Essence...!

FrightNight @ Essence, Hendre Hall... Saturday 26th May 2007.

A great little night of bouncy fun, with wonderful contributions by Ghostley Hedges, MC Bel, and Stevie G. The back room at Hendre has NEVER looked so good, thanks to the work of Buttons & Tracey organising some amazing decor!

I thoroughly enjoyed playing some Psytrance to the friendly audience, many of whom hadn't been exposed to any contemporary psychedelic music before. Lots of familiar faces too though, so the vibe was established early on, with Hedges spinning some top dubby goodness...!

Thanks to the many friends, old and new, who made it a lovely evening!

Everybody hates Goodbyes!

With two of my best friends heading across the Atlantic this week, I've been falling on memories of their good company.

I will, of course, see them both again. We are connected in inexplicable ways, forged over many years, and there will always be the strange days when we are reunited.

So, friendship has been my pre-occupation for a few days. My circle of friends has really only been in existence for 15 years or so. No schoool-buddies remain. No college colleagues. No work-mates. We all went very separate ways.

But the friendships started since the early 90's have been entirely different in nature. Somehow.

True gifts.

But for a few cultural references, and one major shift in consciousness, it's as if the 70's and 80's never happened!

Life-Phases, fading away...

So, i waited decades to acquire my wealth, and there it is! The beauty of the people with whom I share space.

Sounds!

I've been fortunate enough to be able to devote some more time to production lately. Work is progressing with the Cidfloss sound, with a few arrangements being pared back to make room for a vocal, and Ghostley Hedges has been lending a critical ear and bringing a few fresh techniques to bear. Despite the individual directions taken by the three CfC Djs, we seem to have a common goal with regard to our original material.
We are looking closely at our overall direction, and a distinct sound-set is emerging. It's all a far cry from the likes of "Level Two", back in 2002. In fact, the few of you who are holding copies of THAT recording would do well to discard it altogether!
We still don't have any distributions plans, but we'd like to have some CDs (with original artwork) ready to give away by the end of the summer. Although, this takes second place to getting the tunes heard live, in a suitable room.
More details soon...

Escape & Evasion!

It's the simple things that serve to liberate us.

Great company, good music, group-consciousness...!

It's wonderful to be "up 'n' around" again, and able to enjoy some top sounds. in the company of friends. System7 @ Hendre Hall, 6th May. A lovely vibe throughout. It was also cwl to NOT be working. It's been a long time since I was part of a crowd at an event like this. Such a situation doesn't happen nearly enough for my liking. I'd forgotten what it's like to go OUT to RELAX!

Mmmm... that looks even wyrder in writing than it did in my head...!

ZONES!

I've just re-read Hakim Bey's inspirational Essay "TAZ". It has brought back memories of magickal summer festivals, and spontaneous tribal gatherings. But I was also reminded about how a Temporary Autonomous Zone can be a state of mind, as well as an event in space/time.

I've been riding this train of thought for a couple of days. Last stop on the trip, is to secure the status of PAZ for my state of mind. Permanent Freedom. Permanent Inner-Peace. Quite a destination, and maybe NOT as far away as it seems, or for that matter, as difficult.

But it's one step at a time, right?

For the moment, my Inner TAZ develops, even when it's dormant. Increasing in complexity all the time. Ready for activation at a moment's notice. No need for it ever to be fully disclosed. No-one else has the correct password anyway. Just as I am not permitted access to anyone else's psychic paradise.

So, I guess a quiet wee revolution has begun...

"The TAZ is 'utopian' in the sense that it envisions an intensification of everyday life, or as the Surrealists might have said, life's penetration by the Marvelous." -Hakim Bey.

Finally...

Progress.

Spring has brought with it a step or two in a positive direction. A little sunshine, good company, great music...!

I'm back on the "O-Team" again!

Finally got to the bottom of my psychological woes. The test has been a broken promise here, a disappointment there, a sprinkling of hypocracy. It's all tried to get me down, but my new techniques are paying off, and I remain... HAPPY....!

I'm feelin' kinda smug about this. There have been recent events that would've had me totally enraged, but I'm seeing things in a very different way now. "Seeing things".... Mmmm...

... Anyway, no more repeating mistakes. No more unrealistic expectations. More Temporary Autonomous Zones...

...More about TAZs soon....

Pain...

What a week...!
A torn muscle has given me some serious back-pain this week! Just as the Spring arrives, and my thoughts move to walking in the hills, I get confined to my home, with little comfort in sight for quite a while.
Moments of relief come through lying flat on the floor, and employing a suitable herbal remedy, but moving around is a pretty grim experience. I'm playing a waiting game...!
Determined to make the best of my current position, I have been catching up on some reading, and generally turning my thoughts to distracting subjects, with limited success though...

So, it's onwards with painkiller cocktails, and intoxicating vapours!

RedStripe!

RedStripe were dubbin' it up in great style on Wednesday! It's inspiring to be a part of it!
A cwl and grwvi vibe. A wee slice of caribbean magick on the North Wales coast. Real Smiles!
The true power of reggae is filtering into the Cidfloss soundset too. The deep throb of the Digi-Dub of years gone by, returning, and making us yearn for that Mid-summer Sunrise...


... Not long now...

Clwb Diablo!

Well, in an attempt to stop midweek boredom from becoming the norm, FrightNight Promotions will be hosting Clwb Diablo, at Hendre Hall, Tal y Bont, nr Bangor (A55, J12) on Wednesday 4th April 2007, and then fortnightly.
I'll post details of each event as soon as I get full confirmation.
The first night will feature some top tunage from The Demonizer, Dwarfy LunarBaby, Beelzebub, and myself. A set from the Cidfloss Corporation's Ghostley Hedges may also be included, but is yet to be confirmed.
You can expect a wide variety of musical styles from Digi-Dub to PsyTrance, and a cwl, friendly vibe! Dust off those dancin' boots...!

check out further details at...

www.myspace.com/clwbdiablo

Lunar Eclipse...!

Last night, the residents of Castle Jist (and the ever-present Aah Bisto) braved the cold to watch the Lunar eclipse.
Clear skies over Psnowdonia greeted us, star-filled.
An amazing night to gaze to the heavens, even without the eclipse. Although the main event did not disappoint.
Stunned silence, applied sacraments, and cold-numbed hands...

Magickal!

The JistBlog begins...!

Well, at last... the JistBlog!
A moment of severe boredom reached out, took hold of me, and cured my BloggaPhobia with a single dose of it's magick potion.... or was it the fungi....?
Those who know me will be instantly confused, but certainly NOT surprised, and those who don't, just won't care(and frankly, neither will I!)!!!


So.... Between bouts of work, play and sleep, I'll endeavour to keep you informed. I'll be doing my best to include Honesty as one of my ingredients, but this'll be a fickle brew, rich in opinion, and sarcasm, with a generous sprinkling of paranoia on top...
...Arse! Where did the food connection creep in? Must be hungry...!
Anyway, mistakes will be made too.....!
I beg your forgiveness in advance!


Back Soon....

L&P,

C. Jist